Mm, I told you I wasn't old enough to smoke anyway.
[ But then he picks up the second note, and he turns more serious as he reads it. Then he picks up the notebook and turns it over in his hands a couple of times. ]
...Ah. Thank you, it's really nice.
[ And he glances up at her again, sitting there in Ouma's clothes, and wonders if that explains some things or just makes everything more confusing. ]
You're welcome. I figured you could get some use out of it-- Observations, or a personal journal... Whatever.
[She brushes invisible dirt from her pants and wonders how Ouma wandered around n this and kept it looking nice. She also knows she probably has some explaining to do, but isn't sure where to begin.
At length she speaks up hesitantly] I... went back home. I mean-- Back to my world. If Ouma-kun was a bigger problem than usual the past couple days, that's probably why. [She tries to smile like it's a joke, fails, and looks down at her lap again, fingers curling at her knees.] He was... pretty pissed when I came back. I guess because he couldn't take it out on whatever was actually responsible, he blamed me. I was an easier target.
[Miu realizes she's babbling a little, because it feels good to just talk, but she needs to get to what she actually wants to talk about. Another brief hesitation and she speaks slowly, uncertainly.]
But, ah... We worked it out. Everything's--Okay now. Better, actually, I think, but...
[ He has so many things he wants to say to that, questions about her and assurances that Ouma wasn't a problem, exactly—but they all fall out of his head when she gets to the last part.
A chill runs through him despite his best efforts to remain calm. ]
Not much. [That she can say with honesty.] Sixteen students trapped together, given motivation to kill each other... Last two standing win.
Momota-san and Iruma-san... [She trails off, hesitating, because while she assumes Shuichi might be someone who'd know who's alive and who's not at the end, she can't say for sure. Kokichi already warned her, more or less, not to say anything to Iruma because she didn't even know her own death. And she also assumes that, since Kokichi knows both of them, Shuichi probably does too. They all seemed to be part of the same class, after all.]
[Which confirms for her that Shuichi is one of the survivors and therefore would know--
Her fingers curl and uncurl against her knees a couple times, the question rolling around in her mouth like a heavy. She's pretty sure she already knows the answer. SHe's pretty sure he already knows the question is coming, though the way she poses it is more like trying to confirm a fact.]
[ There are so many things he could say about what Ouma did, and it takes him a moment to sort through them, and push down the feelings welling up in his chest enough to voice them. He tugs at the lip of the deerstalker cap a bit automatically. ]
He... tried to use his own life to end the game.
oops forgot to warn for V3 spoilers all up in here, just in case. jazz hands.
Oh. [It's said on a rush of an exhale, and her fingers clench tightly into fists again. Her head swims. The loss of her mother is also still too fresh and raw, and though she'd had a feeling, it hurts to have it all confirmed. Like, somehow, hearing it out loud makes it real.
But Kokichi's still here. In this city, he's alive and well, but-- But... What happens if this place decides to send him home? Her heart feels like it skips a beat in her sudden fear and the lights dim drastically before she gets a hold of herself and they go back to normal.]
Ah-- Sorry.
[She doesn't think she's ever going to get the whole story of that out of Kokichi, but she's not entirely sure if she can handle hearing it all right now either. Miu shifts and hugs her knees to her chest, curling up in the chair as if to shield herself.
Slowly she wets her lips and tries to think of what to say.] Did it work?
[ He looks grim, like he can't avoid doing every time he thinks about that trial, and his eyes itch with the threat of tears before he blinks them away. A faint layer of frost starts to appear on the bedspread, but he doesn't seem to notice. ]
But we took his ideas to heart to end things shortly after.
[That's-- good? It's something, at least. A victory in the end is still a victory.]
Stupid. [He was so stupid. It's ironic that she's mad at him for this when it's hardly like it matters now-- So maybe she can understand Kokichi's own misplaced anger at her a little better now. Dammit. It's not like she can do anything about it now, not like she could've done anything about it before, and the feeling of helplessness mingles with frustration.
Miu looks up to study Shuichi and then the frost growing over his bed. For a moment she's not sure what to say, if she should say anything, but at length she speaks:] Have you cried? Since you got here, I mean. Seeing your friends alive again, the loss of your old life, dealing with everything... Have you let yourself mourn yet? Screamed and cried or anything else? It's... It's okay to. You should just let it out, or it'll bottle up and come out like that. [She nods at the frost]
Edited (love html. love to one day actually be able to use it) 2017-12-28 02:12 (UTC)
[ He looks up in surprise, and touches his hand to the edge of his eyes before glancing to see what she's looking at and exhaling a long sigh. ]
I have. I think I cried meeting every one of them... and again when telling them how it ended. Ah, when telling Ouma-kun and Momota-kun, at least. ...And more than that besides. But... I'm happy to be here, and I'd like to be able to talk about it without...
It's fine to cry. I don't think they mind that much, because... Well, it shows you care, I guess. That it still bothers you. No one's going to expect you to get over that.
Ah, I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't feel like you have to hold that sort of thing back or get over it.
[It's her own clumsy way of trying to make sure he's okay-- He's the one who had to actually live through it, after all. She plays with the straps on her pants, twirling them about her fingers as she thinks.]
I kinda had a feeling, but... Thanks for confirming it. Ha... I hate the truth sometimes.
[ But he still changes the subject away from his feelings. ]
I'm glad... that Ouma-kun is opening up to you a bit. I didn't know you were gone, but he definitely seemed... lonely. [ lonelier than usual ] I gather you talked quite a bit... Um, is there a reason you're wearing his clothes?
She had a feeling that question was coming, but somehow she still wasn't quite prepared. She looks up at Shuichi and drops her feet back to the floor, smoothing out her clothes--Kokichi's clothes--and her face begins to turn red.
She could say the real reason, but that's somehow more embarrassing ("I maybe sort of appeared and fell on him while he was in the bath and got soaked?") so instead she goes with a delicate clearing of the throat.]
I, um. Spent the night at his place...Last night. And my clothes got... kind of ruined, so... ["Ruined" is an exaggeration and this explanation sounds 10x worse than the truth. RIP.] I just haven't really had the chance to change back yet, I've been a bit busy.
[ Fortunately or unfortunately Shuichi doesn't make the obvious assumption from that. Given how Ouma is, there are a lot of possible ways someone's clothes could get ruined.
He is a little skeptical that she couldn't have changed if she really wanted to, though. She seems like she's probably enjoying herself. ]
I see. Well, they look pretty good on you, anyway, so I'm sure it's fine.
I'm a model, I can make a plastic bag look good. [She's definitely enjoying herself though, since Kokichi had mentioned it made her look like he belonged in her organization.
She picks at the buttons though with an overly-critical look] Which this isn't that far off from. [Rude.] This is a terrible outfit though. Did he really wear this all the time?
[She's mostly just putting it down to cover her own embarrassment now though.]
[MAKES A FACE.] Truly, hell. [Clearly that's the worst part of this killing game.
Which, speaking of again--] By the way... Why? Not about the clothes, I mean... Why did they lock you guys up to do this thing to begin with? What's the point?
For-- [She makes a baffled, indignant noise and stares at Shuichi like he's grown an extra head.]
Is that a joke? [But she knows it's not, which makes it even worse] What kind of world did you come from where people think that's entertainment? I'm an entertainer. That's just--
[She knows, too, that she doesn't have to say these sorts of things, he surely knows it already that it's sick and twisted and terrible. But she's angry on their behalf anyhow.]
And I thought where I came from was bad enough... [Is it worse to be manipulated into murder, or manipulated into suicide? She's not sure that's a debate she wants to have.]
I don't know what the world was like. That's... part of it. I thought I did, and maybe some of that is still true, but... mm.
[ This is maybe sharing too much, since he's not sure Ouma passed on this part, but it turns out the appeal of being able to actually talk about it rather than skirting around it or outright lying in casual conversation is too much to resist. ]
Supposedly, our entire identities were fabricated for the show. Our memories were definitely manipulated. There's... nothing to say that any part of what we remember about the world or ourselves actually happened in reality.
Ouma-kun mentioned a little about memories... [She muses quietly. It's probably easier to talk to someone who won't be effected by the truth anyhow-- at least not on the same level as the friends from his world.
Still, that's a huge level of manipulation that has her mind whirling. The level of technology alone needed to do something like that is way beyond her understanding.]
That's... [What does she even say? She exhales in a rush and shakes her head.] Insane. [A disbelieving laugh.] It's absolutely insane. They just gave you entirely new memories and shoved you in like actors in the world's craziest reality show.
[She sort of doesn't want to ask, but:] How much of 'you' do you remember? Anything? Or, can you not even trust that...?
Edited (i can't use the same icon in a row i'm not a HEATHEN ) 2017-12-30 04:30 (UTC)
[Miu goes quiet, watching Shuichi with a steady, critical gaze as if picking him apart.]
...Have you embraced the new 'you'? I mean... This 'you' that you are now, are you satisfied with it? Can you accept yourself and be happy with who you've become?
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[ But then he picks up the second note, and he turns more serious as he reads it. Then he picks up the notebook and turns it over in his hands a couple of times. ]
...Ah. Thank you, it's really nice.
[ And he glances up at her again, sitting there in Ouma's clothes, and wonders if that explains some things or just makes everything more confusing. ]
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[She brushes invisible dirt from her pants and wonders how Ouma wandered around n this and kept it looking nice. She also knows she probably has some explaining to do, but isn't sure where to begin.
At length she speaks up hesitantly] I... went back home. I mean-- Back to my world. If Ouma-kun was a bigger problem than usual the past couple days, that's probably why. [She tries to smile like it's a joke, fails, and looks down at her lap again, fingers curling at her knees.] He was... pretty pissed when I came back. I guess because he couldn't take it out on whatever was actually responsible, he blamed me. I was an easier target.
[Miu realizes she's babbling a little, because it feels good to just talk, but she needs to get to what she actually wants to talk about. Another brief hesitation and she speaks slowly, uncertainly.]
But, ah... We worked it out. Everything's--Okay now. Better, actually, I think, but...
He told me... about the killing game.
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A chill runs through him despite his best efforts to remain calm. ]
Ah... he did, did he? How much did he tell you?
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Momota-san and Iruma-san... [She trails off, hesitating, because while she assumes Shuichi might be someone who'd know who's alive and who's not at the end, she can't say for sure. Kokichi already warned her, more or less, not to say anything to Iruma because she didn't even know her own death. And she also assumes that, since Kokichi knows both of them, Shuichi probably does too. They all seemed to be part of the same class, after all.]
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[ That answers his main question, which is if Ouma had told her that he himself had died. He had sort of assumed that would be something he'd omit. ]
Yes, that's... what happened. Though, we ended it before it was down to the last two survivors.
[ Even if not by much. ]
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Her fingers curl and uncurl against her knees a couple times, the question rolling around in her mouth like a heavy. She's pretty sure she already knows the answer. SHe's pretty sure he already knows the question is coming, though the way she poses it is more like trying to confirm a fact.]
Ouma-kun... Didn't survive... Did he.
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[ There are so many things he could say about what Ouma did, and it takes him a moment to sort through them, and push down the feelings welling up in his chest enough to voice them. He tugs at the lip of the deerstalker cap a bit automatically. ]
He... tried to use his own life to end the game.
oops forgot to warn for V3 spoilers all up in here, just in case. jazz hands.
But Kokichi's still here. In this city, he's alive and well, but-- But... What happens if this place decides to send him home? Her heart feels like it skips a beat in her sudden fear and the lights dim drastically before she gets a hold of herself and they go back to normal.]
Ah-- Sorry.
[She doesn't think she's ever going to get the whole story of that out of Kokichi, but she's not entirely sure if she can handle hearing it all right now either. Miu shifts and hugs her knees to her chest, curling up in the chair as if to shield herself.
Slowly she wets her lips and tries to think of what to say.] Did it work?
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[ He looks grim, like he can't avoid doing every time he thinks about that trial, and his eyes itch with the threat of tears before he blinks them away. A faint layer of frost starts to appear on the bedspread, but he doesn't seem to notice. ]
But we took his ideas to heart to end things shortly after.
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Stupid. [He was so stupid. It's ironic that she's mad at him for this when it's hardly like it matters now-- So maybe she can understand Kokichi's own misplaced anger at her a little better now. Dammit. It's not like she can do anything about it now, not like she could've done anything about it before, and the feeling of helplessness mingles with frustration.
Miu looks up to study Shuichi and then the frost growing over his bed. For a moment she's not sure what to say, if she should say anything, but at length she speaks:] Have you cried? Since you got here, I mean. Seeing your friends alive again, the loss of your old life, dealing with everything... Have you let yourself mourn yet? Screamed and cried or anything else? It's... It's okay to. You should just let it out, or it'll bottle up and come out like that. [She nods at the frost]
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I have. I think I cried meeting every one of them... and again when telling them how it ended. Ah, when telling Ouma-kun and Momota-kun, at least. ...And more than that besides. But... I'm happy to be here, and I'd like to be able to talk about it without...
[ He trails off vaguely. ]
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Ah, I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't feel like you have to hold that sort of thing back or get over it.
[It's her own clumsy way of trying to make sure he's okay-- He's the one who had to actually live through it, after all. She plays with the straps on her pants, twirling them about her fingers as she thinks.]
I kinda had a feeling, but... Thanks for confirming it. Ha... I hate the truth sometimes.
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[ But he still changes the subject away from his feelings. ]
I'm glad... that Ouma-kun is opening up to you a bit. I didn't know you were gone, but he definitely seemed... lonely. [ lonelier than usual ] I gather you talked quite a bit... Um, is there a reason you're wearing his clothes?
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She had a feeling that question was coming, but somehow she still wasn't quite prepared. She looks up at Shuichi and drops her feet back to the floor, smoothing out her clothes--Kokichi's clothes--and her face begins to turn red.
She could say the real reason, but that's somehow more embarrassing ("I maybe sort of appeared and fell on him while he was in the bath and got soaked?") so instead she goes with a delicate clearing of the throat.]
I, um. Spent the night at his place...Last night. And my clothes got... kind of ruined, so... ["Ruined" is an exaggeration and this explanation sounds 10x worse than the truth. RIP.] I just haven't really had the chance to change back yet, I've been a bit busy.
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He is a little skeptical that she couldn't have changed if she really wanted to, though. She seems like she's probably enjoying herself. ]
I see. Well, they look pretty good on you, anyway, so I'm sure it's fine.
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She picks at the buttons though with an overly-critical look] Which this isn't that far off from. [Rude.] This is a terrible outfit though. Did he really wear this all the time?
[She's mostly just putting it down to cover her own embarrassment now though.]
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Which, speaking of again--] By the way... Why? Not about the clothes, I mean... Why did they lock you guys up to do this thing to begin with? What's the point?
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Is that a joke? [But she knows it's not, which makes it even worse] What kind of world did you come from where people think that's entertainment? I'm an entertainer. That's just--
[She knows, too, that she doesn't have to say these sorts of things, he surely knows it already that it's sick and twisted and terrible. But she's angry on their behalf anyhow.]
And I thought where I came from was bad enough... [Is it worse to be manipulated into murder, or manipulated into suicide? She's not sure that's a debate she wants to have.]
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[ This is maybe sharing too much, since he's not sure Ouma passed on this part, but it turns out the appeal of being able to actually talk about it rather than skirting around it or outright lying in casual conversation is too much to resist. ]
Supposedly, our entire identities were fabricated for the show. Our memories were definitely manipulated. There's... nothing to say that any part of what we remember about the world or ourselves actually happened in reality.
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Still, that's a huge level of manipulation that has her mind whirling. The level of technology alone needed to do something like that is way beyond her understanding.]
That's... [What does she even say? She exhales in a rush and shakes her head.] Insane. [A disbelieving laugh.] It's absolutely insane. They just gave you entirely new memories and shoved you in like actors in the world's craziest reality show.
[She sort of doesn't want to ask, but:] How much of 'you' do you remember? Anything? Or, can you not even trust that...?
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They showed us a video, at the end. Of who we used to be before. If it was real... that's definitely not me anymore.
And I guess if it was fake it isn't either. So. No.
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...Have you embraced the new 'you'? I mean... This 'you' that you are now, are you satisfied with it? Can you accept yourself and be happy with who you've become?
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