Yeah, sorry--my bad. I didn't know I was gonna do it, before it was happening. I woulda told you about it, otherwise...I figured it out in the middle of saying something else to him.
...And you kissed him anyway? I didn't even know you...
[ The 'voice' is frustrated, but if he thinks about it, there was definitely evidence for Kaito and Ouma having feelings for each other too. He heard them talk to each other at the New Year's party; he read Ouma's letter for Kaito. So the thought just trails off there. ]
Yeah, sorry.... I didn't really know it either, or wasn't thinking about it right, or something like that.
[ Kaito does at least 'sound' legitimately sorry, vaguely exasperated with himself here as well. ]
I told him he really needed to talk to you, though not what about. I don't think I can tell him what about and still have him show up at your place, y'know? Seems more likely he'd just fuck off and avoid us both if I did.
[ He does understand, kind of; he certainly flirted with Ouma before he was really certain of what he was feeling. Maybe if he was as confident as Kaito he would have just kissed him. Though that's hard to imagine. ]
...Mm, but I really wish you had talked to me first... or let me talk to him first. This is going to be really complicated now... and it was already pretty complicated.
We can talk about it later, and if you wanna be mad at me about it, that's fine. Probably not time for it now, before Ouma takes off.
That's kinda what I was trying to do, y'know? I asked him if he wanted to live here and he acted like he thought I was trying to trick him or something, so I started talking about all the reasons I liked him and wanted him around, and then... well, then all this happened.
Ah, that's all very good, and I'm glad. But it was also... a bit badly timed. He's going to have a lot deal with at once. And he doesn't even know we're together yet. If he feels like you were hiding something from him, he might... doubt you, even more.
...I'm not mad at you, though. I'm just worried about Ouma-kun. ...And maybe a bit jealous. That you could act on your feelings so quickly, I mean. I don't mind if you kiss him, in general.
Yeah, I get that. I dunno if there was a good way to bring that all up, though, y'know? Like, if I told him you and me are together and didn't mention that either you or I like him, don't you think he'd just fuck off somewhere?
I imagine not. And I'm not sure if telling him you talked to me, or that I want to talk to him, would make him more or less likely to actually do it...
Well, yeah, obviously! But that's not the only reason I messed up here, and I want you to know I know that. You deserve the best boyfriend I can manage to be, y'know? I gotta keep working hard to be that boyfriend, Shuichi!
I feel really lucky that you asked me to be your boyfriend, y'know? Ouma's lucky too. I know you'll get it to work out... you're just amazing like that!
I'm really not that amazing. And I definitely don't know that it'll work out. This isn't like solving a crime... and even if it was, I'm not perfect. But I'll try my best.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
[ ... ]
...I haven't talked to him yet...
no subject
no subject
[ The 'voice' is frustrated, but if he thinks about it, there was definitely evidence for Kaito and Ouma having feelings for each other too. He heard them talk to each other at the New Year's party; he read Ouma's letter for Kaito. So the thought just trails off there. ]
no subject
[ Kaito does at least 'sound' legitimately sorry, vaguely exasperated with himself here as well. ]
I told him he really needed to talk to you, though not what about. I don't think I can tell him what about and still have him show up at your place, y'know? Seems more likely he'd just fuck off and avoid us both if I did.
no subject
[ He does understand, kind of; he certainly flirted with Ouma before he was really certain of what he was feeling. Maybe if he was as confident as Kaito he would have just kissed him. Though that's hard to imagine. ]
...Mm, but I really wish you had talked to me first... or let me talk to him first. This is going to be really complicated now... and it was already pretty complicated.
no subject
Do you want me to say something to him, before he takes off?
no subject
[ He still doesn't sound entirely happy with that explanation. But he moves on. ]
...I don't know. Maybe. He's got to be... confused, and worried. I don't know what would reassure him, though.
no subject
That's kinda what I was trying to do, y'know? I asked him if he wanted to live here and he acted like he thought I was trying to trick him or something, so I started talking about all the reasons I liked him and wanted him around, and then... well, then all this happened.
no subject
[ a soft laugh comes through ]
Ah, that's all very good, and I'm glad. But it was also... a bit badly timed. He's going to have a lot deal with at once. And he doesn't even know we're together yet. If he feels like you were hiding something from him, he might... doubt you, even more.
...I'm not mad at you, though. I'm just worried about Ouma-kun. ...And maybe a bit jealous. That you could act on your feelings so quickly, I mean. I don't mind if you kiss him, in general.
no subject
no subject
[ sigh ]
I suppose you can just make sure he comes to talk to me.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Hey, I do wanna talk to you about all this later, for real.
no subject
And yeah... of course.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Hey... call me again when you're done talking? Or come over--if you're not, uh, busy I guess? Haha...
(no subject)