truthstranger | Nope's Peak Day 17 Post-Voting

Either your room or mine is fine.

[a nod, and he pushes the door to his room open, nodding his head to indicate Shuichi should follow him inside]

[ He follows him inside in silence, but even once he's inside he just sort of opens his mouth and closes it again, like he's not sure where he wants to start. ]

[gestures towards a chair-- or even his bed, honestly-- on which Shuichi can sit. he takes a seat on said bed, of course]

[tiredly, with resignation]

Let me have it.

[he's ready]

[ He starts to go for the chair, but once Akira says that, he changes his mind, and after only a brief moment of hesitation, sits next to him on the bed, though he stares down at his lap without making eye contact. ]

...I know you were acting for the sake of everyone. I'm not... angry with you. Well, I am a little, but... mm... I just wish I could have helped. That you could have done something that wasn't... this. That we could have figured it out together.

[tilts his head towards him to watch him as he speaks]

Don't blame yourself.

[that's like, the last thing he wants]

My choices. . . are my own. Don't focus on what could have been, or what should have been.

Just focus on moving forward from here.

[ Whoops, he's crying again. That didn't take long. At least it's only quiet tears trailing down his cheek this time. ]

I know. I know, but... it's hard. How can you be so calm? How many people are going to make those choices so I can move forward...?

[how can you be so calm. Akira wonders if Shuichi would say that if he knew about every time he's broken down during this entire process]

[he does slump a bit, tucking his chin against his chest]

. . . I don't have an answer for that.

But I wish I did.

I wish—

[ He breaks off, takes a deep breath, and tries to gather his thoughts to say things in a way that’s not repeating himself or just bawling. ]

...I’m not blaming myself. I just wish I could have supported you, somehow. You were always helping me.

[there's a slight amount of pressure on Shuichi's shoulder as Akira rests his hand there]

You did support me. Just by being my friend.

[just by talking to him now]

[ He finally looks over at him, blinking lingering tears away from his eyes. ]

But it still... ended up like this. You’re going to die, and you’re still—comforting me.

[ He swallows hard. ]

[he doesn't look away, even though those tears remind him of when Shuichi was crying over Erika earlier. back when Akira was trying his hardest not to let his guilt take over and spur him to confess right then and there, broken the knowledge that he had hurt someone he had considered a friend by. . . killing a mutual friend]

[takes in a deep breath, and lets it out slowly]

It's fine this way. [he means that] Maybe it's because I'm stubborn, or maybe it's because I'm idealistic.

But it's like I said earlier: I believe we'll see each other again. I don't think I'm down and out just yet.

Mm. Even if I believe you about that—

[ Which he clearly still doesn’t, really, even if he’s trying ]

Even if it all works out like you imagined, I don’t...

[ He hesitates again, not sure he wants to get into this even at this point, but— ]

I don’t... have a home to go back to, you know. It... never existed. I would rather you be alive, than—

[ His voice breaks. ]

—That’s selfish, though.

[shifts a bit so he's facing Shuichi now, reaching up to cup both of his cheeks in his hands, to tilt his head up and catch his gaze with his own. SORRY THIS IS SO INTIMATE!!]

Then you'll have the chance to make a new one.

That's why I made this choice.

[so everyone would be able to leave this place. alive, and with the choice to forge a new life wherever they chose]

[ He flushes when he meets his eyes, a wave of five different emotions hitting him at once, and his hand vaguely clutches at the edge of Akira’s shirt, not sure what to do but pretty sure he needs to be touching. ]

I... want to believe everything will work out like that. I do. But I don’t... trust them.

And you shouldn't.

[says the guy who made a devil's deal with them, who agreed to take a life in exchange for everyone's happy ending]

. . . there's a door on the fifth floor. I don't know where it leads, but I feel like it's important somehow. If you don't trust them, then pour your all into discovering the secrets of this place, all right? Take matters into your own hands, and create your own happy ending.

[sounds like advice Akira could've used before he. . . you know]

[ His hand closes slowly until it’s more like a death grip on Akira’s shirt. ]

I don’t know if I can do that either. But I’ll... figure things out. At least.

I think you can.

[said with the utmost amount of belief and faith in his voice]

You really are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Shuichi.

...If that’s true, it’s only because I’ve had friends that helped me get stronger. People like you.

[he says to a Persona protag, whose bonds and connections literally make him stronger]

My strength comes from my friends, too. My Confidants. People like you.

But don't think that strength is gone just because I won't be physically around for a while. You can still write me letters-- and I can still post to Recyclr.

[ I mean, that is also more or less literally true of Danganronpa. ]

Mm. Maybe.

[ He’s still a little skeptical of communication with the dead, too. ]

I still wish... I could have been a person for you to actually confide in.

[also legit. Akira is obviously on the side of "I believe they're from the dead people."]

[there's a pause, and Akira finally drops his hands from Shuichi's cheeks, resting them back in his lap]

I'm-- [. . .]

I'm not. . . [gestures vaguely] Very good. At being powerless.

[ Shuichi still doesn’t drop his gaze, considering Akira for a while before he closes his eyes for a second. ]

...I don’t think anyone’s good at that. I think you’re... not used to it. Because usually you can help.

. . . yeah.

[he admits, a bit painfully]

There are a lot of injustices in the world. Back home, I had the power to fight against them. To steal the hearts of the corrupt, and give courage to the weak.

[he doesn't know how much Akechi has told Shuichi about the Phantom Thieves, so he doesn't get into the details of that]

Being here was like. . . [mmmm] It reminded me that without that power, I'm just. . . some unruly kid who hates authority. A kid who can't do anything to stop any of this, or help anyone.

...That’s not true. You don’t... have to have a magic power to help people. I mean— [ he almost laughs ] —I’m sure that... helps, but...

Even if this doesn’t work out... you’ve helped. I think... you’re really amazing, so...

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